A lot of us are fickle friends to our optimism. It’s easy to relish the brighter side of things when everything is going your way. But on those other days — your car broke down, your kid is sick (again) — finding a silver lining can feel futile.
Regardless of your situation, optimism can always come in handy, says behavioral scientist and psychologist Deepika Chopra, author of The Power of Real Optimism. Unlike pessimism, which may have evolved to help humans survive by imagining worst-case scenarios, optimism can be more helpful for solving problems in our modern world, Chopra says.
“Optimism is what we need to stay engaged and keep deeply caring,” especially during hard times, she says. It keeps us “deeply rooted in reality, but at the same time, holds space for hope.”
And the best part is that anyone can train to see the glass as half-full, Chopra says. “Optimism is a muscle. We just have to work it out.”
The quiz: How optimistic are you?
The first step in honing this mindset is to figure out your starting point, Chopra says. For her book, she created a quiz, inspired by a questionnaire developed by psychologist Martin Seligman, to give readers a general sense of their optimism.
Take the quiz to see where you land on the spectrum, then use the tips below to become more optimistic.
3 ways to become a more optimistic person
If your quiz score surprises you, don’t worry. Whether you lean optimistic or pessimistic, there are exercises you can do to build more sunshine into your life. Chopra shares three evidence-backed strategies.
Make a daily “ta-da list”
Self-gratitude is an important part of becoming more optimistic — if you believe in yourself, it’s easier to imagine greater success in your future. Chopra recommends a “ta-da list”: a record of all your accomplishments for the day, no matter how big or small.
Include tasks you completed — launching a big project or doing the laundry — and less tangible wins, like drinking enough water or setting a boundary at work. “By reminding yourself of all the things you do to make your life better, you can draw strength for the future and build a more optimistic outlook,” she writes.
Schedule “worry time”
The human brain is future-oriented, which means we tend to worry about what might happen, even things that are unlikely or impossible to prevent. Those worries can eclipse our vision of the future, making us focus mostly on what could go wrong.
To avoid being overwhelmed, Chopra recommends scheduling “worry time,” an exercise used in clinical psychology that helps people get comfortable with uncertainty and become better at generating solutions. Find 15 minutes when you have energy and won’t be distracted. Choose a place you don’t normally associate with relaxation, like an office or coffee shop — not your bedroom.
Throughout the day, jot down recurring worries. During your designated worry time, go through the list and ask whether you can control or change each worry. If you can’t, ask whether you can let it go. Part of optimism is feeling you have some ability to take action toward a better future.
Practice daily affirmations with the 7/10 rule
Affirmations can positively affect stress levels and optimism. If you feel more positive about yourself, you’re more likely to imagine a better future. But affirmations that feel unbelievable can backfire.
Chopra suggests the “7/10 rule”: choose statements you’re at least 70% confident about, not ones you only believe 1/10 or 3/10. Then work toward the idea you hope to fully accept. For example, if you have impostor syndrome at a new job, instead of saying “I am the very best in my field,” start with “I’m a hard worker who adds value to my team.”
Repeat specific, believable affirmations daily. Over time, your brain will seek out confirming evidence, turning a 7/10 belief into a 10/10 belief, and then you can build new positive affirmations from there. Moving from negative self-talk to believing in a lovable, competent self makes it easier to feel hopeful about the future.
This story was edited by Malaka Gharib. We’d love to hear from you. Leave a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email [email protected].
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